Charis

I’ve been listening to and teaching with Gregory Dickow’s 2-lesson series, Absolute Freedom from Anger. for the last few weeks in our marriage small group. It’s a great teaching for a number of reasons. Dickow provides strong, clear, biblical instruction on how to deal with anger, and he also highlights the many reasons we need to confront our anger and master it. For those who need motivation beyond Paul’s injunction to “put off anger” (Colossians 3:5), Dickow discusses the physical and emotional toll that anger can exact from us and those who become the objects of our anger.

He finishes with a discussion of Matthew 5:5, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” I’ve never heard a good explanation of meekness, and I confess that when I heard the word in the past, I thought of “Jesus, meek and mild” and the wimpy-looking figure presented as Jesus in children’s Sunday school handouts. Dickow is quick to confront the stereotype of meekness as weakness. Continue reading »

After reading yesterday’s post on praying for our enemies, Not Saussure was kind enough to point me to the blog of Rachel of North London, a woman who survived the terrorist train bombings on July 7, 2005. In her post “The F Word,” Rachel explores the meaning of forgiveness in very real, very practical terms.

As Rachel recounts both her own feelings and those of other victims, the recurring theme is that forgiveness is necessary. She quotes Kristy, who says, “Forgiveness is self-preservation; if I can’t forgive it will destroy me.” Rachel says of herself,

For me forgiveness is about moving through the storm of pain and outrage, holding onto my essential self, which was there before the devastating event. It’s hard to let go of the desire for revenge: anger became my sole driver in the months after the first attack. But to be trapped in a state of permanent rage hurts me. I hold what has happened to me… and I try to live through it. I do not want to live a life defined entirely by an attack on me.

Forgiveness is a choice, and a gift I make to myself, to live freely in the light, rather than to be trapped in a hell of hatred and vengefulness. It has little to do with the perpetrators of the crimes; it is for me, not them that I choose to do this. It is how I stay sane.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu has said that “To forgive is not just to be altruistic. It is the best form of self-interest.” My own experience has taught me this truth: unforgiveness will eat me alive. Clearly, there is a real benefit in forgiveness.

For Christians, the question is not so much “Will I forgive?” as “How do I forgive?” Continue reading »