Madeleine-LEngle

Madeleine L’Engle continues the story of her childhood in the second chapter of Bright Evening Star, writing about the differences between punishment and abuse and about painful experiences in “Beyond the Silver Hairbrush.” Born during WWI, in which her father had been injured in a gas attack, war was a constant presence in her growing up. One of the things I love about her upbringing is that she was free to ask questions, both of her parents and of God. Her parents were wise enough to know that children deserve real answers to difficult questions. When she asked why Jesus, whom she knew as loving and kind, didn’t stop war, her parents told her, “‘We are creatures with free will; God refuses to interfere with our misuse of it.’” She continues,

Thus began the continuing question of God’s omnipotence and human free will. God gave away power when he made creatures with free will. That was a strange thought. God, who is all power, gave away power! And yet the ability to give power away, lavishly, lovingly, is greater than hanging onto power as human beings try to do. With us power is control. With God it is freedom.

As I ponder this, many situations come to mind: struggles with my wife over who gets to have their way; conflict at work between administrators and faculty over–again–who gets their way; three children, one TV, and who gets to have their way. With our first child, Zachary, I was amazed that even at two there was such a strong desire to have his way, to hold on to power. Babies and toddlers seem so loving and sweet, and they are, but right there from the beginning is also that desire to have, to control, to be in power. Watching Isaac and Anna has only confirmed this: the conflict starts early.

And another situation comes to mind: Jesus washing the disciples’ feet. I’ve loved these verses from John 13 for many years, though I don’t think I have fully grasped their import:

Before the Passover celebration, Jesus knew that his hour had come to leave this world and return to his Father. He now showed the disciples the full extent of his love. It was time for supper, and the Devil had already enticed Judas, son of Simon Iscariot, to carry out his plan to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel he had around him. (John 13:1–5, NLT)

There’s much that could be said here, but I want to focus on Jesus’ motivation to wash the disciples’ feet. He “knew” (the Amplified adds, “was fully aware of”) two things: “that the Father had given Him authority (or power) over everything” and that “He had come from God and would return to God.” John makes clear that this knowledge or awareness leads Jesus’ action: “So He got up…”

Jesus had a sure sense of Himself and that allowed Him to give away power. He also, as other passages make plain, had a sure sense of His Father’s care and plan. On a number of occasions, Jesus put Himself in dangerous situations because He knew that His time had not yet come (see, for example, John 7:30).

In yesterday’s sermon, Chris talked about a man who came to him saying he knew he needed to give his life to God but just couldn’t do it. He was afraid of what he would give up. This is a struggle for many, both saved and unsaved, and I’ve come to believe that the giving up is a continual process of growth. What I knew I was giving up at 22 is much different than what I know I must give up to God at 42. For this man, for myself, the key seems to be knowing who I am and knowing where I come from. It’s also knowing, as L’Engle says, that power is not control but freedom.

Because I know my value to God and know that I’m in His hands, I am free to give up my power to force my way at home. Because I’m secure in Christ, I have the freedom to overlook the offensive words of a coworker. It is freedom–giving away power–that allows us to turn the other cheek. It is trust in God’s love that allows me to say, “I don’t know how this is going to work out, but I’m going to give over control of this situation to God and let Him work it out; I will not carry this burden anymore.”

Chris pointed out that we often believe the lie that choosing God–giving away power–is going to leave us with less, that God won’t come through, that we’ll be the worse for the decision. For several years, I have submitted myself to God in my prayer time. As I prayed yesterday, I found it helpful to address this lie. So after I submitted myself to God, I added, “I declare that I lose nothing in giving myself over to God. Jesus promised that whoever loses anything in this life for the sake of the gospel will gain much more in return, and I believe that promise. I willingly give up my power knowing that I am and will be blessed.”

Tagged as: Bright Evening Star, freedom, Jesus, Madeleine-LEngle, power, trusting God