heart

I run in the path of your commands,
for you have set my heart free. (Psalm 119:32, NIV)

I’m tempted to add nothing, and let this verse speak for itself. If we were together, I would ask you to tell me what you think when you read this. Does it excite you? move you?

I’m not a runner–I’d rather walk two miles than run one (supposing I could do even that!). Still, this verse speaks to me. I remember the first time I read it (about 15 years ago), working my way through Psalm 119 and being brought to a halt. For one, the verse is markedly different in tone from what’s come so far. Most of the first 31 verses are prayers or requests of God, and this particular section of the psalm begins with “I am laid low in the dust.”

Second, believers don’t run much in Scripture. In both Old and New Testaments, the idea of walking before God is a common image of faith. Paul does write about running the race in several letters, but generally, when the Bible tells us that someone runs, its the sinner running toward evil. This psalm begins with the idea of walking in God’s ways. Suddenly, we hear the psalmist saying he runs.

All that’s interesting (at least to us English-major types), but the root of my surprise at this verse was that, 15 years ago, I couldn’t imagine saying these words myself. I was in bad shape, and my heart was anything but free. I was, to put it simply, a mess. But this verse spoke to me, showed me something I had never imagined.

For me, run suggests ease. You can walk on a difficult path, taking your time over the rough places, but you don’t run. For that, you need smooth ground, an even surface. I loved God, but walking in His ways was not easy for me. If you read Psalm 119 through a filter of legalism (as I did), it’s a nightmare. There are words and commands and decrees and laws and testimonies and statutes and precepts–and he talks about them for 176 verses! How in the world do you manage that?

Add to this legalistic bondage (compounded by a major streak of perfectionism) bondages of emotional immaturity, addictive behaviors, fear, and the general stupidity of most young adults, and you’ll see that I was bound up and down, inside and out, every which way.

And so running in God’s will because my heart was free was a novel concept. And very attractive. It was as if the Holy Spirit was saying, “Here’s what I want for you, Dan. You don’t know it yet, you’re not sure if you’ve ever even seen it, but this is the goal. This is how you can live.”

I’d like to tell you that three months later I was there. Yeah, right! It was probably another 7 or 8 years before I could say that my heart was free and that serving God was easy. The time it took doesn’t really matter, though. What’s important is that I can say–not just read or recite, but actually say, “I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free.”

I’ve been thinking about Jesus calling himself “the good shepherd” and wondering why He added good. In John 10, He identifies the various players in this picture of sheep and shepherd: there’s the gatekeeper, the stranger, the shepherd, the hired hand, and the thief.

As He sets up His illustration, Jesus makes clear that the shepherd enters by the door or gate and that the sheep know his voice; the shepherd is legitimate. He makes clear that only the shepherd has the true interest of the sheep at heart. Then He brings it home, declaring:

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep… I am the good shepherd.

Jesus is more than just a shepherd; He’s the good shepherd. The Greek for this word indicates that it has to do with being excellent, noble, praiseworthy, as something ought to be. Jesus, then, is what a shepherd ought to be.

Why? Jesus follows His declaration by saying that the good shepherd “lays down his life for the sheep”, and He repeats this a little later: “I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.” We know that unlike a hired hand, a shepherd will protect and defend his sheep; Jesus goes one better: He will die for His sheep.

There’s another characteristic that sets Jesus apart: “I know the Father.” The relationship of Jesus and His sheep is like that of Jesus and His Father; they know each other. And He goes on to say that He is carrying out the charge that His Father gave Him. In the rest of the chapter, John shows us how Jesus develops this idea in another setting. When Jesus further explains His relationship and identification with the Father, He concludes that “I and the Father are one.” This statement was so startling that some wanted to kill Jesus because they understood Him to claim divinity. And that’s certainly true. My interest in this passage, though, is what it tells us about Jesus’ intentions, about His heart.

A few years ago, my pastor asked me to write and revise the copy on the church web site; the fact that I’m a writer certainly made me a likely candidate for the work. Truth is, though, Chris could have hired many others who were much more skilled at writing the kind of copy needed for the site. What set me apart in this instance, as Chris put it, was that I “knew his heart.” He didn’t want just information presented grammatically; he wanted his heart–his passion and vision for the church–to permeate the way that information was presented. Because I knew Chris before he started the church, because I saw where he had come from and how he was doing things differently, I was able to communicate his intent.

Jesus is the good shepherd because He knows the Father’s heart. The heart of God–His passion and vision for us–informs, permeates, and motivates all that Jesus does as shepherd. This blesses me. We’ve all seen those paintings of Jesus holding the lamb, and frankly, that image never did much for me. It seemed like a way to make Jesus appear attractive and friendly to children (which is not a bad thing, of course). And I’ve heard sermons about how sheep need a shepherd because sheep are stupid and we are stupid too. That didn’t do much for me either.

Jesus presents Himself as the good shepherd not to tell us something about sheep; the parable tells us about Him. He says, “you’re in capable hands. I know what I’m doing, and even better, your needs are important to me. I know what the Father wants for you, and I want the same thing too. I’ll fight to the death to keep you safe.” That speaks to me.

“Keep My Heart”

April 14, 2006

This song has been on my mind for a while this morning; it’s a beautiful prayer:

Keep my heart tender before You, Lord
Able to hear Your voice and follow
Keep my heart yearning to know You more
Eager to hear Your word and obey
Keep my heart flowing in Your direction, Lord
Keep my heart, Holy Light,
So innocent and undefiled
King of Love, Lord Most High
So beautiful and bright, Morning Star
Keep my heart
(Paul Baloche, *God of Wonders*)

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