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fear

Psalm 27 has long been a favorite of mine. About 7 years ago, I regularly prayed the first verse over Zachary and helped him memorize it to combat frequent nightmares:

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?

Taken by itself, this verse is encouraging, but it could be read as if David is simply asserting a theory: “God is on my side, I shouldn’t be afraid.” The next two verses make clear that he’s not talking theory; he’s talking certainty:

When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.

Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.

I love David’s vivid language: “assail me to eat up my flesh”; we sometimes feel like that is happening when we are under attack from the enemy. But he makes no provision for loss even in such a terrifying circumstance. David can see only victory, no matter how the attack escalates. First it is “evildoers,” then “my adversaries and foes.” “Evildoers” is the most general term here, and some translations render it “the wicked.” “Adversaries” can also be translated “trouble” or “distress,” and “foes” are personal enemies. No matter who or what it is, David confidently asserts, “it is they who stumble and fall.”

David continues, almost as if he can hear us saying, “OK, one on one, you’ll win. But what happens when the odds are stacked against you?” Whether its an army or an entire war, David will not be afraid. He explains why in the next few verses:

One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple.

For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.

It was a long time before I realized these two well-known passages–“He is my light and my salvation” and “One thing have I asked of the Lord”–were in the same psalm. Individually, they are inspiring, but together, they are powerful. David’s confidence comes from single-minded focus on God: “One thing have I asked…that will I seek after.”

David is usually pictured as a curly-headed boy strumming a harp as he watches fluffy sheep. Seen like that, David’s devotion seems easy; what else did he have to think about? Actually, David had a shepherding job, he was part of a family and dealt with difficult siblings, he worked for the king, and then he spent years as a soldier and fugitive from Saul. David’s life was not one of quiet contemplation. He had a lot going on–much like most of us. Yet in the midst of all his responsibilities, he is able to say, “More than anything in the world, I want to look at God and discover all that makes Him beautiful.”

As I’m writing this, I’m listening to “Beauty of the Lord” by Jared Anderson and “Beautiful One” by Tim Hughes. Both songs focus on God’s love:

Nothing compares to the beauty of the Lord
Jesus Your love takes my breath away (“Beauty of the Lord”)

Wonderful, so wonderful, is Your unfailing love
Your cross has spoken mercy over me
No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no heart could fully know
How glorious, how beautiful You are (“Beautiful One”)

Hughes, in reflecting on his song, writes: “It’s a wonderful truth to know that until we meet God in heaven face to face, there will always be more of Him to discover. There will be more of His beauty, His majesty, His mercy and His power to drink in.”

David knew this; more importantly, David realized that discovering God, gazing at His beauty, drinking it in, held first priority. Actually, I need to rephrase that: using the word priority makes it sound as if it’s a task to add to our to-do lists. “6:30 a.m. Gaze at beauty of Lord. 6:45 a.m. Check! Next?

David understood that our highest calling and our deepest satisfaction come together in knowing God. All else pales by comparison. David’s imagination was so consumed by God’s beauty, everything, including his enemies, seemed small.

What’s the biggest thing in your life, in mine? In the midst of work, family, car pool, laundry, ask the Spirit to reveal God’s beauty. As we consider God and He grows more lovely, more majestic, more glorious, all else will take its rightful–diminished–place. From this will flow the confidence that says, “my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall.”

I saw V for Vendetta Tuesday night; it’s about the overthrow of a totalitarian government. It’s also very much about the power of fear. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that oppressive governments trade in fear–Iraq under Saddam Hussein is a clear picture of that. V for Vendetta did a better job of making this clear than other films I’ve seen in this genre, in part because Evey, the main character, has to overcome her own fears to make a difference in the world around her.

What stood out to me most is a statement, fairly early in the story, that the citizens allowed the oppressive government to come in. In the world of V, the chancellor was elected, so on the most literal level the people of Britain did allow their own oppression. But the bigger point the film makes is that they allowed it because of fear. The chancellor preyed on their fears of disease, anarchy, difference–a range of physical, political, and moral threats–and got the people to trade their freedom for “safety.”

This got me thinking about myself and the spiritual dimensions of oppression. When have I traded my freedom because of fear? Though we don’t actually verbalize it, we make alliances with the enemy out of fear. We hear God calling us to step out–maybe something as simple as speaking about our faith to a non-Christian. And almost immediately, we also hear the voice of fear: what if they reject you? what if you offend them? It’s safer just to keep quiet. And so we trade our freedom for a supposed safety that is borne of fear.

But here’s the catch: the “safety” we’ve opted for is no safety at all. It’s confinement. Because the next time we are faced with the opportunity, it will be just that much easier to trade freedom–to trade opportunity–for fear and “safety”. V shows that the safer the people are, the more restricted their lives become.

Israel in the wilderness is a good example of this: given a choice between the uncertainty of the Promised Land and the relative safety of oppression in Egypt, they wanted oppression. But of course, they didn’t phrase it that way. Few of us, if offered a choice between oppression and freedom would opt for oppression. Instead, they thought of the “cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic” (Numbers 11:5). From our perspective, it’s easy to make fun of them for ignoring the realities of forced labor and infanticide. But I’m not so sure we are all that different.

I find it interesting that God keeps telling Joshua to be strong and courageous, to not fear (see Joshua 1). Joshua had already proved himself a mighty warrior; he had been with Moses for years and seen the works of God. We would think that Joshua wouldn’t have a fear problem, but clearly he did. And I take great comfort in that! If Joshua had all this experience of God’s power and still needed some encouragement to not fear, then I don’t have to be so hard on myself for feeling some fear along the way.

The key, it seems to me, is perspective. Time and again, the Israelites looked at things the wrong way and so made wrong choices–think of Caleb and Joshua versus the other ten spies. Moving beyond fear doesn’t require that we ignore or downplay the very real risks–but it does mean weighing the costs of the supposed safety versus the costs of stepping out. In V for Vendetta, the citizens finally rose up because they saw an example of courage and they started to see their “safety” for what it was: oppression.

That’s my prayer: clear vision. Jesus said, “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). I get clear vision–I get freedom–when I know the truth.

Father, I want clear vision, I want Your perspective on my choices. Show me where I have traded my freedom for fear. Help me to see the truth. And help me to be strong and courageous so that I can have all You promised me.

time for practice

April 18, 2006

This morning, I had to do something I was dreading. I had no good reason to dread it, but those of you who have had problems with anxiety or panic attacks know that the lack of a good reason for fear doesn’t make the fear any less real. My emotions were about to get the better of me in spite of my mind saying, “There’s nothing to be afraid of.” So, as I was on my way, I prayed. I said, “Help me, Jesus!” Immediately, I heard the Spirit tell me,…

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“consult not your fears”

February 21, 2006

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.–Pope John XXIII

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the familiarity of the cockpit

February 9, 2006

In Pursuing Your Life Dream, Eastman Curtis tells of a conversation he had with a trainer of fighter pilots in Vietnam. This trainer said that most of the pilots who were shot down could have escaped from their planes…

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fear: the anti-goal

November 16, 2005

Every week, I eat breakfast with Jeff, Chris, and William–we are, to use John Eldredge’s term, a “band of brothers.” Our conversations range over a wide variety of topics, from movies to marriage and politics to prophecy. However, we always make it a point to talk about our goals, and we have worked our way through some books to help us be more purposeful and focused.

Jeff’s been reading Chris Howard’s Turning Passions into Profits, and he told us about Howard’s idea of having goals you move toward (positive goals) and those you move away from (anti-goals)…

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