it’s good to feel bad

We can’t worship God without recognizing our woundedness. We have a worship revolution going on in the U.S., but we’re not worshiping. There is no woundedness in it. True worship celebrates God’s worth, and without experiencing woundedness, you don’t know his worth. You don’t have that experience of God’s presence over God’s provision. You experience his worth in the wilderness, not in the picnic grounds. “Amazing Grace” says, “I once was lost, but now am found.” Without that acknowledgment of loss, what do you have to worship him for, unless you’re just worshiping feeling good?–Michael Card

I’m not sure I agree with everything Card says here, but he certainly gives food for thought. I have long believed that we need to have a sense of our own inadequacy to fully appreciate God’s greatness. Emerson says that a mark of wisdom is the ability to distinguish or separate according to quality–in other words, you have to have a low to have a high, adequate or okay to have good and excellent. Likewise, a sense of my own sinfulness allows me to distinguish–and marvel at–God’s holiness. My inconsistency helps me to appreciate God’s faithfulness. Or to put Emerson’s idea another way, it’s foolishness to think that my goodness is on par with God’s.

There’s a reason we don’t want to recognize our woundedness and sin and inconsistency. It hurts. It points a finger. It reminds me that I’m less than perfect. It makes me–oh, horror!–feel bad about myself. And as a culture, we don’t like to feel bad about ourselves.

Undoubtedly some will disagree, but I think feeling bad about yourself is a prerequisite for true repentance. Only after I was confronted with my incredible sinfulness and my utter inability to make lasting change did I come to a full appreciation of God’s love, mercy, and grace. I was caught in an addictive cycle of sin that I couldn’t stop, no matter how much I wanted to. I was miserable, and I realized that I was not nearly so wonderful as I had always thought. At the moment I knew God loved me in the midst of my mess, I fully experienced His grace for the first time. To use Card’s words, I recognized my woundedness.

Here’s where some people get confused: they believe that Christianity requires a perpetual state of feeling bad, and that, perhaps, is why many churches have shied away from preaching that confronts sin or even hints at anything negative. But both are extremes: feeling inadequate all the time belies God’s promise that we are new creations, and failure to confront makes light of the gospel. We have to find a middle ground. And that seems to be a real challenge for most of us.

What helped me most in finding this middle ground (which I have to work to stay in) was understanding the difference between condemnation and conviction. Condemnation says, “You sinned! You’re worthless! Turn or burn!” Conviction says, “You sinned. You know you can be better than that. Let me help you.” Condemnation is a tool of Satan; it’s one of his ways to kill, steal, and destroy, and it separates me from God because it keeps the focus on my problem. Conviction is the voice of the Holy Spirit gently calling me back to what I know is right. Condemnation targets me; conviction targets my sin. Condemnation preys on fear of punishment; conviction reminds me of the Father’s love.

When I learned to recognize the voice of condemnation as the voice of the enemy, I was able to hear the voice of the Spirit more clearly and to respond appropriately–with repentance. Paul tells us in Romans that there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ, but he also says to the Corinthians:

the pain [of being confronted with sin] caused you to have remorse and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have… For God can use sorrow in our lives to help us turn away from sin and seek salvation. We will never regret that kind of sorrow. But sorrow without repentance is the kind that results in death.

It’s good to feel bad about yourself in the right context; it brings perspective that allows for repentance and worship.

Tagged as: condemnation, conviction, Michael-Card, repentance, sin, worship