meditations

I have come to dislike resolutions because they don’t work very well for me–or apparently for most other people, based on what I read in magazines. Instead, I ask myself, “How do I want to grow in this new year? How would I like to be different in 2007?” Because I teach one-semester courses, I view my year as having three beginnings, spring, summer, and fall. And I like that, because it gives me plenty of opportunities to step back and evaluate where I’m headed and how things are going. So, as I enter January, I try to think more about the next few months rather than the entire year, and that makes the task much less daunting.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reminded that I tend toward criticism. Some of it is personality: I’m detail-oriented, and as I take in the details, I tend to notice the problem areas. That can be a blessing–if you’re in a situation that requires evaluation. But it’s not a blessing when it becomes the normal mode of interaction with life.

I find it easy to focus on the negative, both in myself and in others. This personality trait was magnified by past experiences. Growing up in a religious tradition that constantly evaluated who was in and out of the Kingdom made it easy to live in perpetual judgment. This, coupled with a dominating sense of God as Judge, set me up for some problems.

I think I’ve come a good ways in changing this.