Monday, September 11, 2006 · no responses · comments closed

8th in a series on humility

Last Thursday’s meditation on rest and peace was just what I needed. In the midst of seeking to grow in humility, I was wearing myself out trying to do it myself. It seemed like I was trusting God, because in difficult situations, I was praying, “Holy Spirit, help me not to say the wrong thing.” That sounds good, and it got me through the people problems, but it took a toll on me.

That subtle focus on not is the problem. It’s harder to keep yourself from not doing one thing than it is to do something else; as I’ve noted elsewhere, not doing is an anti-goal. Living out the prayer “Holy Spirit, I will speak when you show me what to say” requires less effort than does the constant monitoring of “I want to say this; is it the wrong thing? What about that? Is that wrong?” A not focus requires vigilance; we become gatekeepers of our thoughts, words, and actions.

A kindergarten teacher told me once that she never tells her students “Don’t run!” Rather, she says, “Walk.” Putting it in the positive, giving something to do rather than not do, makes success more likely. It’s interesting to note that David asked God to “set a guard” over his mouth and “keep watch” over his lips; David knew it was easier to let God handle it. Trusting the Holy Spirit to guide our responses requires us simply to rest. Andrew Murray’s chapter on humility and sin is the perfect follow-up to the call to rest.

Murray begins Humility by pointing out that a focus on sin is not the path to nor a true manifestation of humility, despite what we’ve been taught. From a human perspective, a sin focus makes sense. I keep myself low by continually reminding myself of how bad I am. This is really just another form of pride: “look at me! I’m a really bad sinner!” How do we recognize pride? Self-focus. Whether a focus on my strengths or on my weaknesses, my achievements or my failings, it’s still all about me. And that can’t be humility.

So Murray shows humility apart from sin in the lives of Jesus and the apostles, only then returning to humility and sin, ready to put their relationship in its proper place. He writes, “Humility is often identified with penitence and contrition. As a consequence, there appears to be no way of fostering humility but by keeping the soul occupied with its sin.” Later he writes,

I’m afraid that there are many who by strong expressions of self-condemnation and self-denunciation have sought to humble themselves, but who have to confess with sorrow that a humble spirit with its accompanying kindness and compassion, meekness and forbearance, is still as far off as ever. Being occupied with self, even having the deepest self-abhorrence, can never free us from self.

So what is the solution? Grace.

It is the revelation of God not only by the law condemning sin but also by His grace delivering from it that will make us humble. The law may break the heart with fear; it is only grace that works that sweet humility that becomes joy to the soul.

Grace is rest. Grace is peace. Why? Because it is focused somewhere besides me. Grace acknowledges my weakness without focusing on it; grace moves me from not to do by the power of the Holy Spirit. As Murray concludes, “to be fully occupied with God brings deliverance from self.”

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